


Always Yours

by Qilby



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Depression, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Okay the tags look bad but really it’s not that dark, Suicide mention, Vampires, lots of hurt but lots of fluff to compensate for it, ranmyu, some violence, there will be smut, there’s a lot of fluff too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 23:51:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20416373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qilby/pseuds/Qilby
Summary: If the only way to save your dearest one was to turn them into a monster, would you still do it?





	Always Yours

**Author's Note:**

> I was rereading tsubasa reservoir chronicles recently and that famous scene where Fai gets turned into a vampire gave me an idea, which sparked this fic. I smashed it up with another silly au of mine, where they work in a library (Ranmaru being the head librarian, Camus a library technician) and then this was born. I don't know if I'll be able to update regularly, having a pretty weird schedule and work takes most of my energy away. But I'll try to get the next chapter out soon, and finish writing this!
> 
> I hope you guys like it!

“Please, I beg of you… save him,” he sobbed, holding Ranmaru’s inanimate body to his chest.

“And what’s in it for me?” the voice was cold and distant as the man took another drag of his pipe.

“I’ll… I’ll give you anything, so please… do not let him die…”

The other man smiled sadly at him. “You should be more careful of what you offer…”

* * *

The first stars began shining in the sky, the lamppost turning on and lighting the streets. Camus had just returned to his apartment, a sigh of relief leaving his lips as he walked in. Another day finally over. All he wished for now was to eat some cake, take a nice bath and go to sleep. Thankfully, he had a short vacation beginning, which would allow him to rinse and repeat this ritual many times over the next few days.

He kicked off his shoes and dragged his feet to the couch, where he sat down with a groan, eyes closed. He hadn’t bothered with the lights, enjoying the darkness of the night. But this same darkness allowed for quietness and carelessness as someone silently made their way to the couch, careful not to step on any noisy part of the floor, creeping up behind him.

Before he knew it, Camus had a hand pressed over his mouth, an arm across his chest and lips against his neck…

“You’re way too careless, Camus,” a voice whispered against his ear, low and hungry.

“Fucking hell, Dandelion! I hate it when you sneak up like that!” Camus complained as he pulled away from the touch, making Ranmaru laugh.

“As if you never sneak up behind me!”

“I don’t do it on purpose!”

“I know, I know,” Ranmaru laughed some more. “I’m sorry, it was just too tempting… I missed you, today.”

“I missed you too, Ran,” Camus softened up, leaning back against the couch. “It’s not the same at work without you.”

Ranmaru sighed. He stood back up and made his way around the couch, letting himself drop against Camus, his head resting on his thighs. Immediately, Camus began running his hand through Ranmaru’s hair. It was dirty from not having been washed in days, and the pyjama he was wearing was the same he had worn for the past three. Both of his eyes were grey, and the dark circles under them were unmistakable.

“You need to go out a bit,” Camus whispered softly as he kept playing with his hair. “And you need to eat something. Everyone is worried about your stubborn ass.”

“I’m fine,” Ranmaru groaned. “Besides, I know you’ve been force feeding me while I’m asleep. I’ve been feeling my strength return slowly over the past few days, which coincide with you beginning to wear long sleeved shirts in the middle of summer.”

Camus looked away, embarrassed. He was biting down his lip, not knowing how to react at having been found out. Ranmaru grabbed hid left arm and pulled away the sleeve, revealing Camus’s bandaged arm. He sighed and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently.

“I don’t want to lose you,” Camus’s voice was shaky, breaking a little midway through the sentence. “You’re like this because of me, and my selfish decision makes you suffer… and yet… and yet I can not bring myself to regret taking that decision, nor do I regret force feeding you.”

Ranmaru sat up and turned so he could face Camus. He was still looking away, but he managed to catch a glimpse of tears rolling down Camus’s cheek, before his boyfriend quickly wiped it with the back of his hand.

“Hey, look at me,” Ranmaru said softly, tugging on Camus’s arm. “Please.”

Camus reluctantly turned, tears still streaming down his cheeks. His blue gaze fixed on Ranmaru’s, and they stared for a moment before Ranmaru leaned forward to kiss him gently on the lips, tasting the saltiness of his tears. They shared a few kisses before Ranmaru pulled away to press his forehead to Camus’s.

“I try to protect you, and yet I still manage to hurt you… I’m sorry, Camus…”

“Stop talking nonsense, you idiot… I’d worry about you no matter what. But if you truly are sorry, then _please_ at least feed yourself.”

“I… I can’t, Camus… Last time you passed out and I believed I had lost you. hadn’t it been for Reiji popping up at the right moment, I probably would’ve.”

“_Last time_ was the first time you drank blood, Maru, and you were starved… the more you wait, the more likely it is for you to drink too much. But if you drink a little every now and then…” Camus raised a hand to press it against Ranmaru’s cheek. “So please, Ranmaru, don’t wait any longer.”

Ranmaru stared at him, speechless. For the past month, Camus had been trying his best to keep him alive and well. After having been turned, Ranmaru had reacted with anger and locked himself away, refusing to speak to Camus. In an attempt to kill himself, he had watched the sun rise one last time… only to be found by Camus as he was sitting on the kitchen floor. Camus had rushed and thrown himself at him, crying about how sorry he was. The sun had shone on them as Ranmaru embraced him back, learning in the harshest way that the sun would not kill him.

Despite everything, despite him treating Camus so poorly… Camus still cared and worried for him, and he had made him cry countless time now. He decided he’d try to sort it out, with Camus’s help, but that hope quickly vanished after he tried to drink Camus’s blood for the first time. He was so starved, he kept drinking despite his boyfriend turning livid. And even then… Camus hadn’t asked him to stop. He had simply hugged him close until he lost consciousness from blood loss.

Luckily, Reiji was on his way to see them, and was quick to react when Ranmaru opened the door, crying, holding Camus in his arms and begging for help. He had drove them both to the ER immediately, barely stopping to ask questions.

Ever since… Ranmaru had refused to drink anything, ready to die from starvation. He couldn’t live with himself, knowing that he needed to rely on Camus for food, and that every time he drank, he risked killing the love of his life. He hated himself, what he had become. He knew that had the roles been reversed, he would’ve done the same, but… Camus had sacrificed so much for him now, going as far as cutting his hair to show off his neck in the hopes this would tempt Ranmaru into eating. And there he was, ungrateful brat, letting himself waste away.

Ranmaru left the couch and went into the kitchen. He came back holding a knife, handing it to Camus as he sat back down.

“If I don’t stop—”

“Ranmaru, I will _not_ stab you,” Camus backed away, horrified at the idea.

“It’s the only way I will accept to drink your blood again, Myu. I… want you to have a way to stop me if I go too far again. Reiji’s not on his way to visit us, and who knows what might happen.”

They stared at each other for a moment. Ranmaru was determined. Camus looked down to the knife, and sighed. He picked it up with disgust and dropped it on his thighs, and began unbuttoning his shirt. He pulled it to the side and smiled when he saw Ranmaru struggling to not reach out and touch him. He picked the knife up again, blade flat against the palm of his hand, and waited.

“Come on now. No more running away. I trust you.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t…”

“For fuck’s sake, you hungry—”

Before he could finish that thought, Ranmaru leaned in and kissed him on the lips. He was definitely buying himself more time, still avoiding the deed. But Camus let him do. He knew he needed that time. While he didn’t resent him from the first time, or had any big traumas regarding it, having lived far worse situations in the past, it wasn’t the same for Ranmaru. The mere thought of possibly having killed the person he loved most sent him into a paralyzing terror, convincing further more he was nothing but a killer now. That he did not deserve love. _His_ love.

He took a deep breath, kissing Camus’s lips one last time before moving to the corner of his mouth, his cheek, his jaw, slowly, slowly making his way down to his neck. He pulled away the shirt a little more, uncovering Camus’s shoulder. He could smell the blood flowing under his skin, a delicious, sweet smell making his stomach grumble.

He closed his eyes and sank his teeth in the tender skin, fortunately not able to see Camus wince in pain. He could feel Camus’s hand grabbing his shoulder, grasping at him, but not pushing him away. The blood rushed in mouth, warm and thick down his throat. It had a peculiar sweetness, which he hoped was characteristic to Camus. It was all his, and he wanted it all.

He was feeling full, but he couldn’t stop. He wanted more, more, more, all of it. He wanted to be one with Camus, feeding off his blood until the last drop.

“Ranmaru,” Camus’s voice rang in the silence of the room.

It was calm and gentle, just like his grip on his shoulder. Ranmaru came back to his senses, moving away immediately. He licked the wound, closing it immediately. He looked up to see Camus smiling at him, looking a little pale, but still smiling sweetly at him.

“I told you the knife would be of no use,” Camus joked.

“I… if you hadn’t talked, I would’ve—” Ranmaru panicked as he tried to back away from Camus.

Before he could get to his feet, Camus grabbed his wrists and pulled him in his arms.

“But you listened. You heard me, and you stopped. I’m just a bit dizzy, it’ll pass. I’m okay.”

Ranmaru froze for a moment, before slowly moving and curling up around Camus, his face pressed to the crook of his neck. He could hear his boyfriend’s slow heartbeat, the warmth of his skin, the gentleness of his embrace… He felt tears sting his eyes as he hugged him closer.

“I miss your hair…” Ranmaru whispered to his ear, earning a light chuckle.

“I’ll let them grow out again, sorry. I was desperate to get you to feed yourself, I thought showing off my beautiful slender neck might tempt you.”

“I know… it seems all I do is cause you more and more trouble. You should’ve let me die back then…”

“Were I to find myself in the same situation, I’d make the exact same choice, Maru. I would never let you die if there’s a way to save you.”

Camus untangled himself from Ranmaru, despite his lover’s groans, grabbed his hand and forced him to get up from the couch. He dropped the knife on the coffee table, and without a word, he led him to their bathroom, closing the door behind them and running the bath. When he turned to face Ranmaru, he leaned in to kiss him gently as he carefully removed his pyjama. In return, Ranmaru helped him out of his clothes, stealing shy kisses after every piece removed. He held Camus close to him when his dizziness made him sway, relishing in how close he was, enjoying the direct contact of his skin against his.

Once the bath was filled, Camus guided Ranmaru in the warm water. Facing each other, they washed the other, no words needed as they let their hands speak for them. A smirk could be observed now and then as Camus teased his boyfriend, enjoying the blush on his cheeks.

Now clean from head to toes, Camus leaned back against the tub, Ranmaru taking refuge in his arms, his head resting against Camus’s chest.

“How long had it been since your last bath?”

“A while…” Ranmaru admitted. “I haven’t had the energy to do much lately.”

“I know, but now that you’re all clean… it’d do you some good to get out of the house. Maybe we could go watch a movie?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go out with other people around, Myu.”

“You can stand the sun, which we’ve learned the hard way, and you can control your thirst, as shown by the last few weeks of fasting I had to break so you wouldn’t rot away. I won’t force you to go out, of course, but I think it’d be good for you. And it’s been a while since we—”

“Okay, blabber mouth! I got the message, so spare me,” Ranmaru chuckled, pressing a hand to Camus’s mouth to shut him up. “I’ll see how I feel tomorrow, okay?”

“Alright,” Camus agreed once he kissed away Ranmaru’s hand. “It doesn’t have to be the movies, though. I just thought it’d be an easier first day out after a month of being inside than, say, going grocery shopping.”

“It would be easier.”

“Speaking of groceries… I miss your cooking.”

“If you’re willing to wait, we could cook something after the bath,” Ranmaru muttered as he felt a blush creep up his cheeks.

“Oh, I am more than willing to wait!” Camus sat up in the bath, forcing Ranmaru to move too, startling him.

“Oi, calm down! I said after the bath!”

“We’re dried up prunes, Maru.”

“But I was comfortable…”

“Fine, five more minutes.”

“Ten?”

“Ah, whatever, I don’t care. Five or ten more minutes of pruning, who cares.”

Despite his annoyed look, Ranmaru recognized the amused gleam in Camus’s eyes as he leaned back against the tub, allowing Ranmaru to resume his cuddling session. Camus began playing with his hair, combing through the silky grey strands with his fingers. Ranmaru closed his eyes in bliss, relaxing a little more in his lover’s arms.

“How are things at the library?” Ranmaru inquired after a few more minutes of silence.

“It’s alright. Tokiya agreed to take your place during your medical leave, and he’s doing a good job at handling the team. Everyone is worried about you and asking questions, though. But all I can reply is that you need some time to figure some things out.”

“That’s vague.”

“It’s all I can say without revealing the entire situation, really. I could say you nearly died at the hand of what we assume is a vampire hunter, and I had to beg the vampire being hunted to save your hot-headed sorry ass.”

“It’s not what I meant,” Ranmaru sighed. “I simply understand why they keep asking questions, since it’s all you can answer.”

“What more can I say?” Camus exhaled through his nose.”

“Nothing, nothing, love,” Ranmaru turned to kiss him on the lips gently, lingering just long enough. “Let’s go make you food.”

“Oh, you’re done pruning now?”

“I would love nothing more than to stay longer in here with you, but the growling of your stomach is quite annoying. I’ll wait until we’re in bed to request more cuddles.”

“You’re worst than a cat, Maru,” Camus shook his head with a laugh as he watched Ranmaru get out, accepting his extended hand to help him up.

They dried themselves as the tub drained itself. With their bathrobes on, they made their way to the bedroom to change into proper clothes in order to start cooking.

Ranmaru turned the radio on as Camus took out the ingredients to make an omelette. His boyfriend had to go back in to get some vegetables, as Camus seemed to only have taken eggs and cheese out for it. As punishment, Camus had to cut up the vegetables while Ranmaru beat the egg, ignoring Camus’s complain of preferring crêpes.

“You can have cake after dinner. Speaking of cake, your blood tasted less sweet than last time,” Ranmaru noted.

Camus remained silent, pretending to be focused on mincing the mushrooms. Damn mushrooms, he hated them. And yet, whenever Ranmaru cooked them, they tasted so good he could not resist them. In fact, Ranmaru could make him eat pretty much anything with his cooking.

“Camus,” Ranmaru tried to get his attention. “I’m not an idiot, y’know. I know you’ve reduced your intake in sugar because of me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, it has nothing to do with you. I’m tired of Armand lecturing me every time I eat cake or candies or what not. I just reduced it by a little, not that much.”

“Camus,” his lover insisted with a sigh. “The cake has been in the fridge for almost a week, barely touched. You normally would’ve finished it in a day.”

“Okay, so what if I reduced my intake in sweets? Does it really matter? You and Armand and everyone else are always pestering me to cut out sugar, that I’ll get diabetes if I keep going! And I finally take a resolution and do what you ask me to do, and it’s not okay? Make up your—”

“Camus.”

“Make up your goddamn mind, you dandelion—”

“Camus!”

“What?!”

“Thank you.”

Ranmaru turned to find Camus perfectly still, the knife hovering above the cutting board. His hair hid his face, making it impossible for him to read his expression, but his stillness made him believe he was fighting back tears.

“Myu?” Ranmaru called out softly.

“Onions,” Camus muttered as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hands before resuming his cutting.

Ranmaru looked down to the cutting board, finding a bell pepper being diced, mushrooms on the side and the onion still untouched, round and well. He sighed and set the bowl of beaten eggs to the side, walking to Camus and hugging him from behind, his arms around his chest, his chin resting on his shoulder.

“I love you,” he whispered, swaying a little on his feet.

“I want two slices of cake tonight,” Camus grumbled.

“You shall have them, love.”

“And-And I love you too, Dandelion…”

“I know. I know you do.”

He kissed the nape of his neck, which was probably the only good thing coming out of Camus having cut his hair. He knew Camus loved him more than anything, for he had sacrificed so much for Ranmaru’s sake. His hair, his time, his sweet tooth… all of that for him. Ranmaru wished he could repay all of it double, but he didn’t know how. He felt guilty, but whenever he tried to bring it up, Camus hushed him and replied that was the situation reversed, he would’ve done the same.

There was something small he could do, a little sacrifice on his part, to begin repaying Camus back, though. With a deep breath, Ranmaru spoke again.

“What movies are currently playing?”

Camus’s face lit up immediately, and Ranmaru felt his heartbeat increase at the sight of such a lovely smile. He couldn’t help but smile too as he hugged him closer.

“There’s the new Godzilla movie, or that silly Lion King remake. Otherwise, there’s Toy Story 4, Aladdin and Spider-man.”

“What year is this?” Ranmaru chuckled.

“To be very honest, I don’t know, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask.”

“Oh, I saw the trailer for Annabelle too the other day. Is it out?”

“Dear lord… yes, that is also one of the options,” Camus admitted, his smile wavering a little.

“I’d be down to see that one, just to have you jump in my arms…”

“I am not that easily scared!” Camus turned his head sharply to look over his shoulder at Ranmaru, insulted.

Ranmaru laughed as Camus finished cutting the vegetables, grumbling about not being a scaredy cat. His boyfriend left one last kiss on his neck before reaching over and picking up the already cut up vegetables and setting them close to him as he began heating up the pan to cook the eggs.

Camus dropped the last of the toppings in the bowl when Ranmaru poured the eggs in the pan, and went to dress the table. He was singing under his breath, humming a song Ranmaru hadn’t heard in a long time. It was one of the few songs Camus had written back in their college years, when they formed a music group with two of their other friends. Nowadays, he rarely sang any of them, unless he was absorbed in a task, or truly happy.

Figuring dressing the table wasn’t a task you needed intense focus to do, Ranmaru believed he was singing because he was happy.

And that made him want to cry.

After all that had happen, after all he had made him go through, Camus still found it in him to be so happy he sings. How could he be? How could he live normally, go on with his life, when his love had been turned into a monster? How could he be remotely okay with all of this, the blood sucking and his incessant sulking? Ranmaru, try as he might, could simply not understand how Camus could be happy. But after everything and above all of it, he believed he did not deserve someone so devoted, when his own mind kept going back to identifying different ways to end his life…

And yet, the answer seemed so obvious… he was still around and alive because of Camus. Because his boyfriend had suffered enough because of him, and the image of him in tears, curled up in his arms as the sun rose on them, holding on and begging, still haunted him.

He did not want him to shed more tears because of him.

“It’s been a while since we’ve been on a date,” Camus broke his train of thought, bringing Ranmaru back to the present. “Even before… before all of this. We’ve been so busy with work and life in general, we never found time to go out together. Truth be told, I miss it.”

Ranmaru did not reply, busying himself with the omelette. He did not hear Camus creep up behind him until he shyly passed his arms around his waist, hugging him from behind, mirroring what Ranmaru had just done to him. It was his turn to press his cheek to Ranmaru’s shoulder, closing his eyes as he took in his warmth, listening to his slow, steady heart beat.

“I wish you’d talk to me more, Maru,” Camus whispered.

“What d’you mean?”

“I’ve been trying to understand what’s going on in your head for weeks now, trying to give you space, or invade it, or I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what you want me to do, what you want me to be to you… and I can’t help but worry every time I pass the front door and leave you alone…”

“Sometimes, it feels like you read my mind, and other times you’re so dense,” Ranmaru tried to joke, but lost his smile when Camus hugged him closer.

“You’ve not making this easy.”

“I know. Sorry.”

Camus sighed and kissed his shoulder. He let go of Ranmaru and went to sit at the table, making his lover regret not speaking up for him to stay.

The omelette now ready, Ranmaru cut it in two and served it, one half in Camus’s plate, the other in his. He brought them to the table and carefully dropped Camus’s plate in front of him, sitting down with his right after. It’s only then that he realized what he’d done, the both of them staring at the plate.

“You haven’t tried eating human food yet, have you?”

“No… I served myself out of habit, without thinking. But maybe it’s poisonous to me…”

“Well, there’s no garlic in it, you should be okay to at least taste it. At the worst, just spit it out.”

Ranmaru glared at him, and Camus pulled out his tongue, smirking. He knew Camus was simply trying to diffuse the tension and help him relax, but Ranmaru was still nervous. With a trembling hand, he grabbed his fork, picked some of the omelette up, and brought it to his mouth. Camus stared at him, sitting on the edge of his chair as he waited. He watched Ranmaru put the food in his mouth, chew on it, and then swallow it, his eyes lighting up.

“I _nailed_ that omelette,” he happily remarked, a grin on his face.

“You definitely did,” Camus smiled back.

His heart melt at the sight of the grin on his lover’s face. He hadn’t seen such a genuine expression in a very long time. Cooking and food were a good part of how Ranmaru dealt with his troubles, the time spent preparing a meal allowing him to either think things through or get his mind off of what was bothering him. But since he had been turned, he hadn’t cooked, even for Camus. It was as if his special outlet had been taken away from him, as he did not know if he could eat what he now referred to as human food.

They finished eating in silence, cleaning the kitchen quickly before making their way to the bedroom, hand in hand. All lights were turned off, save for Camus’s bedside lamp. They slipped under the blankets, Camus sitting on his side of the bed, Ranmaru laying down on his back, staring at the ceiling. He meant to sleep, but no position seemed to suit him. Despite cooking being his only big action of the day, he felt exhausted, and yet, Morpheus did not want him quite yet.

He looked at Camus’s profile for a moment as he read, his glasses falling a little down his nose. The glass reflected the warm light of the lamp, his breathing even. He looked so peaceful, like a tranquil force. Ranmaru scouted closer to him, grabbed Camus’s arm and raised it a little, allowing him to lay on his side, head resting on Camus’s chest as he dropped the arm behind him.

“Did the omelette render you mute?” Camus smiled as he began drawing lines along Ranmaru’s back.

“Action are better than words,” Ranmaru grumbled. “Can you read out loud?”

“And why would I read out loud, pray tell?”

“Because your book seems boring. Maybe it’ll put me to sleep.”

“It is most definitely _not_ boring.”

“What is it anyway?”

“Poetry. Tokiya lent it to me.”

“Yeah, that’s gonna put me to sleep for sure.”

Camus sighed deeply, shaking his head a little as Ranmaru chuckled. He closed his eyes and waited. He didn’t think poetry was boring or anything, all he wanted was to hear Camus’s voice. His voice always managed to soothe him into sleep. He loved hearing him talk, hear him whisper sweet words to him on the pillow. He would never admit it out loud, of course, but there was no better sound to him that his lover’s voice.

“As autumn leaves fall  
I busy myself with memories,  
Memories buried deep, which I must recall  
For fear I might forget you,  
Forget us  
As winter creeps up  
And we forget the warmth of summer  
I must remember  
Hold unto you forever  
The remain of our love  
The sound of your voice, the smell of your hair  
Your last breath lingering in the cold winter air  
As I hold unto the last souvenir you left me  
Slowly, Slowly drifting into eternal sleep  
Holding unto you as I promised I would  
When the last leaf falls  
I fulfill my last promise  
I shall follow wherever you go  
And never, ever let you go.”

Camus looked down and smiled, finding Ranmaru sound asleep against his side, his arm loosely holding his waist. His voice had managed to soothe away all his worries, sleeping so tightly he snored lightly.

Saving his page and closing the book, Camus set it back down on his nightstand, removing his glasses and closed the light. He moved slowly as he slipped back into bed, careful not to move Ranmaru too much and wake him up. Holding him in his arms, pressing a light kiss against his forehead, Camus smiled.

“I’ll never let you go, Ranmaru. Ever.”

The sun steamed through the window, the warm rays falling straight on Camus’s face through the small cracks of the curtains. He managed to open an eye, groaning in the pillow. He stretched his toes, his feet, his legs and his arms following in the process as he regained his senses. He reached over to the opposite side of the bed, patting the sheets in search of his lover, only to realize he was completely alone. He sat up straight in bed, panicking. He usually got up way before Ranmaru, so to wake up and find him gone was quite stressful. He looked around the room, trying to find a hint that he was still around, but when he did not, he was ready to jump out of bed. The moment he put a foot on the floor, the door opened, revealing his boyfriend holding up a tray with a pile of pancakes and a cup of tea on it.

* * *

“Good morning,” he said with a kind smile, approaching the bed.

“Good… morning,” Camus replied, slightly stunned.” How long have you been up?”

“A little while. I woke up and realized you hadn’t eaten cake last night, so I figured I’d make you crêpes this morning. Since, y’know, I can still eat human food… I’ll go back to being your personal chef,” he winked at Camus as he set down the tray on his knees.

“Thank you…”

Camus stared at the tray for a moment, unsure of what to do now. He looked at the big pile of pancake covered in chocolate and whip cream, topped with bananas and strawberries. Ranmaru joined him in bed, laying on his side next to him, careful not to make everything fall off. He stole one of the bananas and popping it in his mouth, chewing on it happily.

“I’ve missed eating bananas. I had to cut up a second one cause I kept eating it.”

“I haven’t,” Camus frowned, finally picking up the fork and knife. “I’ve been keeping them for you, so you can have all of them.”

“Bananas are good for you. You gotta eat some. Plus, there’s chocolate on them so they taste sweet.”

Camus glanced at him from the corner of his eyes, and sighed. He took a bite off the crêpes, closing his eyes as he savoured them. He hadn’t eaten any in a while, as he tried to make his blood less sweet for Ranmaru, knowing he wasn’t too keen on sweets. But he had missed it, and had been craving sweet things every day.

He finished the crêpes in a record time, strawberries and bananas included. He grabbed the cup of tea, sipping on it as he laid against the bed, taking a good look at Ranmaru for the first time since he woke up. He realized he had done his hair, had dressed and even had put in his colored lens for his right eye. Ranmaru was ready to leave the house, minus perhaps the shoes.

“Do you need to drink?” Camus inquired.

“No, I think I’m good for a while. It took a week last time before I felt like I needed to drink again.”

“And you _will_ tell me when you need to drink, or do I have to pester you everyday?”

“I’ll try, I promise.”

“Good boy,” Camus ruffled his hair, a smirk floating on his face.

“Oi, stop! This took time to do!”

Camus laughed heartily as he watched Ranmaru check with his phone if his hair still looked okay. He sipped on his tea, happy to see his lover taking care of himself a little more. He had been watching him spiral down again for so long, to see him climb a few stairs back up warmed his heart and calmed some of his worries.

“I was thinking about something, last night.”

“Oh, that’s no good,” Ranmaru huffed, earning a light punch from his lover.

“As I was saying… maybe we should find another vampire. We know there are some in town, and we could ask them questions to know your limits.”

“Myu, it’s probably not a good idea. It’ll put you—us in more danger, and it might alert hunters since those exist too,” Ranmaru argued, hoping that if he included himself in the equation, it might dissuade Camus.

“But we need to know!” Camus argued. “We-we need to know if there are things you must avoid, if you have super strength, or… or if you stopped aging,” his tone was angry now, frustrated that Ranmaru did not see the problem he did.

“Camus…”

Camus downed his cup of tea, setting it back on the tray and brought it to the kitchen, dropping it on the counter. He stood by the sink, his hands pressed to it as he looked out the window. It had been on his mind for quite some time now, but one of the most popular myth about vampires was that they did not age, or aged very slowly… Which, frankly, scared him. The fact that someday, he’d die and leave Ranmaru alone was somehow unbearable.

Ranmaru arrived in the kitchen, finding Camus standing. He stared at his back, his heart squeezing in his chest. Camus was not one to openly talk about how he felt, but his body language generally took care of that for him. Once more, Ranmaru realized how his dearest one was filled with worries because of him, and he could not stand it. He crossed the distance and hugged Camus from behind, his forehead pressed to his shoulder.

“There are other ways,” he whispered softy, his lips brushing lightly against the skin. “We’ll find one. But Myu, for one day… let’s just forget all about this, and enjoy ourselves. I might need to go out, but you need to let out some tension too, and have fun.”

“How am I supposed to let out some tension and have fun, when we don’t know what the future holds for us, and you’re so against being a vampire that you refuse researching them…”

“I can’t promise I’ll get better at that, and frankly I am not really happy with searching for some bloodsucker to question when it might put you in danger. But I can see it worries you. We’ll find a way. But for now… how about we go on our improvised date, and hit that new café you’ve been dying to go to?”

“I don’t really want to go to the café,” Camus muttered half-heartedly.

“Not even the one that just opened down the street? Where it smells of macarons and pastries all day long?”

Camus shook his head, but he could see he had hesitated. Ranmaru knew his boyfriend wanted to go, had been dying to try the café out ever since they announced it. But with the recent turn of events, Camus never had the chance to go, and now that he was determined to lower his intake in sweets…

“Look at me, please,” Ranmaru breathed, making Camus shudder.

He turned around in the embrace, finding himself pressed between the sink and Ranmaru’s chest, their nose touching. Ranmaru leaned up a little to kiss his nose, hugging Camus close and rubbing his thumbs in circles on his back.

“I don’t mind your blood tasting sweet. It’s a part of you in a way. Although it would be better for you to eat less sweets, I don’t want you to do it because of me. And it also doesn’t mean to stop entirely.”

“I’m not doing it because of you,” Camus pouted, making Ranmaru laugh lightly.

“Liar,” he leaned in and kissed Camus’s lips.

They kissed again, Camus relaxing a little more in his lover’s embrace as he felt his lips against his. He let out a whimper as Ranmaru pressed him against the sink, kissing him with more intensity than he had in the last few weeks. The furthest they had gone in a while was shy pecks on the cheeks and lips, and holding hand. Ranmaru was afraid of losing control, and couldn’t let himself go. But perhaps now…

Camus welcomed the closeness with open arms, pulling Ranmaru closer to him. He wanted to feel his body against his, share his warmth. He craved for his touch and to touch him back, his hands travelling along his back, going down to his ass, his sides, and all the places he knew made Ranmaru weak. He wanted him all to himself once more, as they used to do. But just when he tried to undo his belt, Ranmaru pulled away.

“We… we shouldn’t. Not now,” he breathed, panting a little.

“Ranmaru…”

“Just… not now. I’m sorry.”

Camus sighed, but cupped his face and kissed him one last time. Ranmaru did not dare meet his gaze again, ashamed of himself, of his fears. But still, he held Camus tenderly in his arms, resting his chin against his shoulder.

It was a little while longer before Camus decided it was time for him to get ready. He led the way back to the bed room, Ranmaru right behind him. He searched through his wardrobe as his boyfriend sat on the bed, eyeing him. He loved watching him move around the room, watch the way his muscles moved as he got dressed. When they would actually have sex, he loved to watch the little marks he left everywhere the day after the act. But now, the skin looked pale and fresh, blank as a canvas, save for a few pale scars here and there.

“What movie do you want to see, in the end?” Camus inquired, turning around as he put on a shirt and began buttoning it up.

“Annabelle,” Ranmaru said without hesitation.

“Alright…”

“I’m joking, Myu,” Ranmaru laughed at Camus’s resigned expression. “Spider-Man sounds cool. Heard good critics.”

He laughed harder when he saw Camus relax a little. It was his first, genuine laugh in a long time, and Camus couldn’t help but smile.

“Let’s go to the café first, and then spend the afternoon in the park, or somewhere. Wherever you want, I’ll follow. And then tonight, we go to the movie.”

“Are you sure? That sounds like a big plan for a first day out in a while. Maybe grocery shopping _would_ be easier.”

“I’m sure, Myu. I want to spend more time with you. You’ve been working so much these past few days, all we do is sleep. I miss your company… I know I haven’t been the easiest person to be around these last few weeks, but for your sake, I want to improve.”

“And I don’t want you forcing yourself for _my_ sake, Maru. I’ll have other days off; we don’t have to rush anything.”

“Will you stop worrying about me for once and be selfish a little?”

Camus stayed silent for a moment as he turned around. “I’ve been selfish enough with you.”

“I disagree,” Ranmaru grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer. “I want you to be selfish, so, so selfish with me… I want you to use me to be happy… so c’mon, the café awaits.”

Camus looked at him and smiled weakly. He leaned down to kiss Ranmaru’s forehead. He helped him get up on his feet, grabbed his wallet and headed for the door. He walked through, and turned to find Ranmaru frozen right before passing the door.

With a deep breath, Ranmaru put his sunglasses on, and walked outside.

* * *

“Damn, this actually lived up to my expectations,” Ranmaru commented as they walked out of the theatre.

“It was! Much more enjoyable than Annabelle,” Camus laughed, holding unto Ranmaru’s arm as they walked.

“Aw, c’mon. That would’ve been fun too, but for other reasons.”

“You just want me to be scared so I’ll hide in your arms, asshole.”

“Yeah, and? I think that’s an absolutely valid reason!” Ranmaru burst out laughing as Camus punched his arm.

“Stupid dandelion head.”

They walked down the street for a while, in a comfortable silence. The nights were getting cooler, and it was quite enjoyable. Few people were still out at this time on the streets, especially at such a late hour. They had the roads to themselves.

“I gave it some thought, and… and maybe you’re right. Maybe we should search a… well, y’know. A vamp.”

“I’m glad to see you can still use your brain!”

“Shut up. Honestly, it’s just because I want to protect you. I know you’re very capable of doing so on your own, but I’d still prefer to know anything that might endanger you. I just… don’t know where to start.”

“One thing at a time, darling. We’ll figure something out, like we always do,” Camus whispered, leaning his head against Ranmaru’s shoulder.

“Oh hey, give me two seconds, I wanna buy something,” Ranmaru stopped on the sidewalk all of a sudden, right in front of a small shop still open despite the late hour. “Wait for me, okay?”

“Hurry, or I might just disappear,” Camus teased him.

“As if,” Ranmaru laughed.

He gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and climbed the stairs two at a time, disappearing in the shop.

Camus waited patiently, looking around him. He couldn’t see anyone out, and would’ve been lying if he said it did not creep him out a little, but he wasn’t scared. It was rather peaceful, actually. One of the street lamp was flickering, two were unlit, only one shining it’s light down on the street. Still, he knew he’d be fine. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and began checking out his notifications, answering the few messages he had gotten during the day.

Focused on his screen, he did not see the shadow creeping up behind him. A hand on his mouth, arms restraining him, Camus was barely able to move. He tried to turn, expecting to find Ranmaru, but instead was punched by another person in the stomach. He dropped his phone as he was being dragged in the alleyway nearby, out of breath, unable to catch a glimpse of his aggressor. Camus was thrown carelessly to the ground, coughing hard as he tried to stand up, but was kicked again.

“Where is he?” one of the persons growled.

“Wh-hat are you… talking about?” Camus croaked out between coughing fits, only to be kicked down again.

“Don’t be a fool. We heard you and your friend.”

“I promise… I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Camus lied, sounding distressed.

He was grabbed by the collar and pulled up on his feet, blood streaming down from his head and into his eyes. He could barely see, one eye swollen shot, the other blinded by blood. He managed to get a glimpse of two golden eyes staring down at him.

“Start. Talking.”

“I don’t understand… please let me go, I beg of you,” Camus sobbed.

His heart was pounding, his ribs hurting. He was too weak to fight back, so acting was his best option at the moment. He was thankful for a brief moment that his face was so wrecked, it’d be normal to not see tears.

“It’s useless, boss. He won’t talk, or he truly does not know,” the second person spoke up. “We should hurry, before someone finds us and calls the police.”

The boss glared one last time at Camus, letting him fall to the ground before running away.

Camus curled up on himself, shaking and in pain. He had kept his cool the entire time, but now all he wanted was to get up and run away, find Ranmaru and hide. He was too weak to move, barely able to raise himself up on his arms. His chest hurt so much; his breath was cut short by the pain.

“Maru… Ranmaru,” he cried out weakly in the night.

* * *

Ranmaru walked in the shop, his steps light as he made his way to the counter. He did not mean to buy anything, but rather meant to talk to the owner of this little shop.

“Maru-chan-senpai!” The owner greeted him warmly as he saw him arrive.

“Hey Natsuki. How are you?”

“I’m great! It’s been a while since you’ve come by, what a delightful surprise! Myu-chan said that you were going through some rough times, but I’m really happy to see you.”

“Things are beginning to look up, don’t worry. I… need some time, but eventually I’ll get back on my feet.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“I’m sorry to drop by so suddenly, Natsuki, but do you still have the box I gave you?”

Natsuki’s smile widened as he disappeared behind the counter, quickly reaching for a small, red velvet box he had been storing away for his friend. He handed it over to Ranmaru, jumping into place.

“You’re finally going to ask him?”

“I’d like to do it soon, yeah. Thanks a lot for keeping it for me. I don’t know how to repay you.”

“It’s no problem! Just make Myu-chan happy, and it’ll be the best reward. Hurry back to him, I’m sure he’s waiting for you just outside. And keep me updated. Good luck!”

“I will. Thanks again, Natsuki.”

They shook hands, Ranmaru skillfully avoiding Natsuki’s hug as he turned his back to him and made his way toward the exit. He took a moment to look at the ring inside the box, a ring with a line of small rubies shining beautifully despite the low lights. He had chosen it for Camus, as a way to remind him that he loved him more than anything in the world. He was afraid Camus might refuse, or that he was not ready yet. Timing was important with such a big question, but Ranmaru still wanted to ask him as soon as he could. He had waited long enough, and yearned to be able to call him his husband.

He couldn’t help the little smile on his lips. He still felt horrible. He was a monster, and even if it was not intentional, he had hurt his lover because of this nature. But Camus had stayed by his side, and had never held him responsible for his actions. With Camus, he had hope that things could still work out. He wanted to see him happy, to be happy with him, to go through the hard times by his side, just like Camus was doing with him right now. He wanted to love him the way he deserved to be loved, to reassure him when he was afraid. He wanted to be his one and only, be happy with him.

Perhaps it was alright, after all, for him to wish for these things. Because if it was with Camus, he knew he’d be okay, somehow. They would both be.

He closed the box and stored it away in his jacket, opening the door. He looked around quickly, but Camus was nowhere to be seen.

“Oi, Camus, where are you?” He called out, expecting his boyfriend to pop out of somewhere. “Camus, it’s not funny. Come on, I want to get home!”

When nothing happened, anxiety began creeping up in his chest. He smelled the air, an inexplicable sweet smell filling it. A smell he knew all too well. As he walked down the stairs, he saw the phone on the ground, and fear bubbled in him. He followed the scent, his heart pounding against his ribs as he turned the corner, walking into the alleyway, mindful of every sound. It began raining just then, lightning striking close by and illuminating the dark alley, showing a trembling body in the middle of it.

“Maru… Ranmaru,” he heard the person call.

Ranmaru sprinted toward the body, dropping to his knees in an instant as he carefully picked up Camus. He cried out in pain as he tried to push Ranmaru away.

“It’s me, Camus, it’s me,” Ranmaru whispered, his voice shaky, a sob menacing to escape his lips. “God, what happened…?”

He was panicking, unsure of what to do. He wanted to cry out for help, but no one was around, and he wasn’t sure Natsuki would hear him. The hospital was in no walking distance. Would Camus make it?

“Maru… you have to go… they’re looking for vampires, they’re looking for you—and the guy who turned you… I can’t lose you, Ranmaru, I can’t—”

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s alright Camus. Don’t talk. You’ll be fine…”

He picked him up gently, Camus’s head lolling back as he fell unconscious in his arms, limp. He did not wake up when Ranmaru rushed back inside the shop, begging Natsuki for help, nor when the ambulance arrived, the pain too grand for him to stay awake.

He simply hoped Ranmaru was safe and sound.


End file.
